"When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home" John 19:26, 27
2. Here we see the perfect man setting example for children to honour their parents.
The Lord Jesus evidenced his perfection in the manner in which he fully discharged the obligations of every relationship that he sustained, either to God or man. On the cross we behold his tender care and solicitude for his mother, and in this we have the pattern of Jesus Christ presented to all children for their imitation, teaching them how to acquit themselves toward their parents according to the laws of nature and grace.
The words which the finger of God engraved on the two tables of stone, and which were given to Moses on Mount Sinai, have never been repealed. They are in force while the earth lasts. Each of them is embodied in the preceptive teaching of the New Testament. The words of Exodus 20:12 are reiterated in Ephesians 6:1-3: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it maybe well with thee, and that thou mayest live long on the earth."
The commandment for children to honour their parents goes far beyond a bare obedience to this expressed will though, of course, it includes that. It embraces love and affection, gratitude and respect. It is too often assumed that this fifth commandment is addressed to young folks only. Nothing can be further from the truth. Unquestionably it is addressed to children first, for in the order of nature children are always young first. But the conclusion that this commandment loses force when childhood is left behind is to miss at least half of its deep significance. As intimated, the word "honour" looks beyond obedience, though that is its first import. In the course of time the children grow to manhood and womanhood, which is the age of full personal responsibility, the age when they are no longer beneath the control of their parents, yet has not their obligations to them ceased. They owe their parents a debt which they can never fully discharge. The very least they can do is to hold their parents in high esteem, to put them in the place of superiority, to reverence them. In the perfect Exemplar we find both obedience and esteem manifested.
The fact that the last Adam came into this world not as did the first Adam - in full possession of the distinguishing glories of humanity: fully developed in body and mind - but as a babe, having to pass through the period of childhood, is a fact of tremendous importance and value in the light it casts on the fifth commandment. During his early years the boy Jesus was under the control of Mary his mother and Joseph his legal father. This is beautifully displayed in the second chapter of Luke.
Arrived at the age of twelve, Jesus is taken by them to Jerusalem at the feast of the Passover. The picture presented is deeply suggestive if due attention is paid to it. At the close of the feast Joseph and Mary depart for Nazareth, accompanied by their friends and supposing that Jesus is with them. But, instead, he had remained behind in the royal city. After a day’s journey his absence is discovered. At once they turn back to Jerusalem, and there they find him in the temple. His mother interrogates him thus: "Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? Behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing" (Luke 2:48). The fact she had sought him "sorrowing" strongly implies that he had hardly ever been outside the immediate sphere of her influence. Not to find him at hand, was to her a new and strange experience, and the fact that she, assisted by Joseph, had sought him "sorrowing" reveals the beautiful relationship existing between them in the home at Nazareth! The answer that Jesus returned to her inquiry, when rightly understood, also reveals the honour in which he held his mother. We quite agree with Dr Campbell Morgan that Christ does not here rebuke her. It is largely a matter of finding the right emphasis: "Wist ye not?" As the aforementioned expositor well says, "It was though he had said: ‘Mother, surely you knew me well enough to know that nothing could detain me but the affairs of the Father.’" The sequel is equally beautiful, for we read, "And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them" (Luke 2:51). And thus for all time the Christ of God has set the example for children to obey their parents.
But more. As it is with us, so it was with Christ: the years of obedience to Mary and Joseph ended, but not so the years of "honour". In the last and awful hours of his human life, amid the infinite sufferings of the cross, the Lord Jesus thought of her who loved him and whom he loved; thought of her present necessity and provided for her future need by committing her to the care of that disciple who most deeply understood his love. His thought for Mary at that time and the honour he gave her was one of the manifestations of his victory over pain.
Perhaps a word is called for in connection with our Lord’s form of address - "Woman". So far as the record of the four gospels go, never once did he call her "Mother". For us who live today, the reason for this is not hard to discern. Looking down the centuries with his omniscient foresight, and seeing the awful system of Mariolatry so soon to be erected, he refrained from using a word which would in any wise countenance this idolatry - the idolatry of rendering to Mary the homage which is due alone her Son; the idolatry of worshipping her as "The Mother of God".
Twice over in the gospel records do we find our Lord addressing Mary as "Woman", and it is most noteworthy that both of these are found in John’s gospel which, as is well known, sets forth our Saviour’s deity. The synoptists set him forth in human relationships; not so the fourth gospel. John’s gospel presents Christ as the Son of God, and as Son of God he is above all human relationships, and hence the perfect consonance of presenting the Lord Jesus here addressing Mary as "Woman".
Our Lord’s act on the cross in commending Mary to the care of his beloved apostle is better understood in the light of his mother’s widowhood. Though the gospels do not specifically record his death, there is little doubt but that Joseph died some time before the Lord Jesus began his public ministry. Nothing is seen of Mary’s husband after the incident recorded in Luke 2 when Christ was a boy of twelve. In John 2 Mary is seen at the Cana marriage, but no hint is given that Joseph was present. It was in view, then, of Mary’s widowhood, in view of the fact that the time had now arrived when he might no longer be a comfort to her by his bodily presence, that his loving care is manifested.
Permit just a brief word of exhortation. Probably these lines may be read by numbers of grown-up people who still have living fathers and mothers. How are you treating them? Are you truly "honouring" them? Does this example of Christ on the cross put you to shame? It may be you are young and vigorous, and your parents gray-headed and infirm; but saith the Holy Spirit, "Despise not thy mother when she is old" (Pro. 23:22). It may be you are rich, and they are poor; then fail not to make provision for them. It may be they live in a distant state or land, then neglect not to write them words of appreciation and cheer which shall brighten their closing days. These are sacred duties. "Honour thy father, and thy mother."
