As many heads as a Hydra--and as many lives as a cat!

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(Letters of John Newton, 1775)

My chief and abiding trial lies within; and I hope that the Lord will sanctify it--to make me by degrees 'little' in my own eyes. I long to be able to use Job's words, with the same feeling as I believe Job had when he spoke them, "Behold, I am vile!" (Job 40:4.) The acknowledgment in words is quite easy--but really and in good earnest to "abhor myself" and repent in dust and ashes--is most difficult. I know that I ought to be humbled before Him--but I want to be so indeed.

But hat monster SELF has as many heads as a Hydra--and as many lives as a cat! It is more than 25 years since I hoped it was fast nailed to the cross--but alas, it is still very much alive--and still mixing with, and spoiling everything I do!

(N.B. A 'Hydra' is a mythical multi-headed monster, whose heads re-grew after they were cut off.)

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